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Compiled By Mal Content

Rangers Football Club's PR Department, otherwise known as the Laptop Loyal, have been in overdrive since the Mayhem In Manchester (Murray's pockets must be deep to hold all the Hun Hacks).

And the Chairman himself has issued a proclamation from deep within the bowels of Mordor, declaring that any Huns discovered to have been involved in Wednesday's rampage in Manchester will be “banned for life” from Ipox.

Quite how Sir Minty Moonbeams bans those who, according to Martin Bain, “do not normally attach themselves to our support” remains to be seen.

Murray and Bain really ought to get their alibis straight, eh?

Meanwhile, Rangers' in-house tabloid, the Daily Record's insistence that the hooligans, rioters and thugs responsible for the Mayhem In Manchester were imported from countries other than Scotland took a bit of a blow today.

The English (online) Sun reported:

“Dog bite yob got life for murder

By Kenny Angove

A thug pictured being savaged by a police dog during the shocking UEFA Cup final soccer riot is a convicted MURDERER.

Shaven-headed Glasgow Rangers fan Alexander Aitkenhead, 38, was jailed for life after stabbing a man to death.

He was bitten after the match in Manchester between Rangers and Zenit St Petersburg on Wednesday, which was marred by drunken violence.

We can now reveal he got life in 1987, aged 17, for killing his brother-in-law in a row over his sister.

A year was added to his sentence in 1992 for punching and kicking a prison officer, but he was freed more than a year ago.

Last night the Rangers die-hard denied he was a yob and claimed HE was picked on by cops.

Back in Glasgow, Aitkenhead said: “The police came down the road in a line and ushered us into a hotel. Hotel security threw us back in the street.

“The police dog branch had turned up and they went mental. One of my friends fell and a policeman was about to hit him on the head with his baton. I ran over to stop him.

“The dog bit me on the hand and I fell over. It got hold of me by the leg
and dragged me off the pavement into the road.

“We weren't causing trouble. The police were totally over the top.”

He added: “My conviction is not relevant. It's in the past.”

But a former prison officer said: “I felt sick when I saw him in the paper. It just shows the calibre of people involved.

“People will be saying, ‘Look at the poor guy who got his leg bitten by a vicious dog.' But let me tell you, he is no poor guy.”

Trouble flared after a big screen showing the game in the city centre failed. Fifteen cops and a police dog were injured and a Russian fan was stabbed. Eleven Rangers fans were charged.

People were drinking in the streets from 7am on the day of the game, which Rangers lost 2-0.”

There are SO many Huns' stereotypes in this story, eh?

We can reassure dog-lovers everywhere who are anxious about the health and wellbeing of the police dog that bit Mr Aitkenhead that the dog, called Timmy, is recovering well after precautionary checks and vaccinations at the Vets.

Timmy, pictured left, relaxes with canine chums:



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