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CELTIC SHORTS – NAKA, JAN AND MILLER TIME AT MORDOR

By Trialist

Contrary to the alarmist nonsense from the Laptop Loyal, Shunsuke Nakamura WILL be available for Celtic's all-important final League match of the campaign, which is against Dundee United at Tannadice on Thursday.

Shunsuke Nakamura has been called up for Japan's squad for the Kirin Cup, but the Japanese genius will not join Japan until after Celtic's day of destiny on Thursday.

A Celtic spokesman said: “Nakamura will probably go the day after the Dundee United game. It's too important a game for him to miss and hopefully Japan will understand that.”

The Celtic spokesman added: “We hope it's not an issue as the League circumstances have changed now.”

The circumstances certainly have changed. Following the Huns' 1-1 draw against Motherwell at Fir Park on Saturday, Celtic's Championship destiny is now in our own hands.

If Celtic win against Dundee United, we will be crowned Champions for the third season in a row, unless Rearrangers win both their remaining League matches and also dramatically change the Goal Difference, which currently stands at +57 for Celtic and +50 for the Huns.

The Huns score a vast number of goals in their next two games? With their Wattienaccio approach, the only sustained attack the Huns have made this season is against the Manchester Police.

Meanwhile, Celtic striker Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink has been named in Holland's provisional squad for Euro 2008.

And finally, it's not been the best of weeks for the Huns, and it's fair to say that the permanently-raging inmates of Fascist-Fascist are, well, er, raging as the “unprecedented quadruple” has shrunk to a teetering treble, perhaps a dodgy double and perhaps even a silly single.

And the mood of the Huns aint gonna improve with the news in Saturday's Scottish Hun that “Kenny Miller is on the verge of a deal to become Rangers' first summer signing. The Derby hitman will clinch a dramatic £1.6million Ibrox return when he heads home from holiday.”

No, don't laugh.

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