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CELTIC SHORTS – DEREK RIORDAN, PAT McCOURT AND DARREN BENT

By Trialist

Celtic's valuation of Derek Riordan is just too damned high, according to Sheffield United manager Kevin Blackwell.

Celtic are reportedly looking for £1million for the 25-year old Celt, who seemingly has as much chance of being a regular first team pick at Celtic next season as David Villa or indeed Roman Pavlyuchenko.

(Sorry, Bhoys and Ghirls, but I just cannot envisage the 26-year old Spartak Moscow and Russia striker becoming a Bhoy, though I will be very Hoopy if proved wrong.)

Consequently, Sheffield United boss Kevin Blackwell is bitching that the price is not right for the former Hibee. (Kev's a Cross and Blackwell?)

Kevin Blackwell bemoaned to today's Scottish Hun: “At the moment nothing is going to happen. Derek is a good enough player, but Celtic want too much money because he hasn't played enough.”

Leeds United are also reportedly interested in Derek Riordan, who was also reportedly offered as a £1million makeweight in Gordon Strachan's thankfully aborted move for Kylie Laffable, the 6ft 4in striker who cannae heid the ba', according to former Northern Ireland manager Lawrie Sanchez.

Meanwhile, the Evening Times has today reported that Celtic's offer to Derry City for 24-year old Pat McCourt is £150,000 rising to £250,000 depending on the former Northern Ireland Under-21 international winger's success in the Hoops.

Pat McCourt was expected to join newly-promoted-to-the-EPL West Brom, who had agreed a fee with Derry City.

But Celtic have seemingly hijacked the transfer and Pat McCourt is set to have signing talks today with the three-in-a-row SPL Champions.

Finally, that bastion of accuracy, honesty, impartiality and truth, the Daily Rectum, has today claimed that Aston Villa and Sunderland are in pursuit of Spurs striker Darren Bent, who was linked earlier this week with a loan move to Celtic.

24-year old Darren Bent has bombed at Spurs since last summer's £16.5million move from Charlton, where the striker was top scorer for two consecutive seasons.

Darren Bent reputedly has a weekly wage that could pay everyone in Scotland's energy bills next winter even if the greedy and corrupt energy multinationals hike up the prices again.

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