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REARRANGERS BAN GREEN JELLY BEANS

By Trialist

Is there no end to the culturally traditional prejudices at Rearrangers Football Club, the club with 135 years of unsurpassed bigotry?

After Dignity FC banned green straws, Peperami and biscuits and cakes with green icing and even removed Eggs Benedict from the Ipox catering menu, we now learn that “veteran” Rearrangers players avoid green jelly beans like Huns avoid DSS investigators.

The revelation comes from DaMarcus Beasley, who gave an interview to his hometown newspaper in Fort Worth, Indiana, in which the injury-ravaged American winger told of how “veteran” (or culturally traditional) Rearrangers players refuse to eat green jelly beans.

Indeed, according to DaMarcus Beasley, the culturally traditional Rearrangers players go out of their way to remove ALL the green jelly beans from the jelly bean jar in the Ipox dressing room before the sweeties can be shared out.

DaMarcus Beasley said: “In the locker room before games there are always jelly beans around.”

Beasley continued: “The first thing the Rangers veterans do is take out all the green ones.”

Beasley added: “For them to be associated with the colour green, even with candy……”

It'll be a cold day in Hell when this correspondent gives up blue Smarties.

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