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By Trialist

It's difficult, if not impossible, to imagine how Celtic could have “failed” in a bid for Birmingham City striker James McFadden if the Hoops did not actually bid for him.

Whatever next? Celtic fail to win Euro 2008?

After widespread reports that Celtic have “failed” with a bid of £5.5million plus defender Bobo Balde for James McFadden, James Traynor, on the BBC, has revealed the Daily Rectum were yesterday considering running with this story in today's edition of the tawdry tabloid.

However, Traynor informed his listener, Mrs Agnes Crumblybiscuit of Brechin, that Rearrangers' in-house tabloid, the Daily Rectum, had taken the highly unusual step of actually checking out the speculation.

And the Daily Rectum was told by Celtic that there had been NO Hoops bid for Birmingham City's James McFadden.

Meanwhile, Birmingham City chairman David Gold has insisted 25-year old James McFadden is “not for sale”, which is precisely what Manchester United are insisting of Cristiano Ronaldo. And we all know how that transfer tale is likely to end.

For the relegated-from-the-EPL club, David Gold added: “We want to keep our best players to help us get back to the Premier League as quickly as possible.”

Of course, if Celtic DID bid for James McFadden, it would have been our third attempt at landing the Scotland international.

Martin O'Neill's Celtic made a half-arsed attempt to sign James McFadden from Motherwell. Faddy went to Everton.

Celtic also reportedly tried to bring James McFadden from Everton to Paradise in January on loan. Faddy was sold to Birmingham City for £5million.

Mrs Agnes Crumblybiscuit is 78.



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